| Where'd You Go? |
[29 Oct 2007|10:16pm] |
mmm such a good weekend. Sam said it well, we totally "recharged." Dinner dates, the beach, driving around, laying around...sooooo good. 20 more days till we do it all over again :) Just hugging him was such a relief. Two months of pent up craziness and madness and intense longing soared out of me like a ridiculously powerful rush.
On the very other hand, very hard day today. A set back i gotta get over, but I'm not quite ready yet. I hate the DMV for making me feel like an incredible moron. :( Oh well. It's a challenge, just gotta look at it like that. But then my "This is why I'm Hot" sweatshirt came in the mail and made me smile. Thank goodness for small pleasures. Like Catherine's mix.
Also, thank goodness for friends. They're silly sometimes, but I love them no matter what they do. I'll be there to catch them when they fall and I know they do the same for me. I'm kinda starting to understand a more mature friendship, where a lot is unspoken. I hope the people I'm thinking about know I would do anything for them.
hope everyone had a great monday-
zo
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[20 Aug 2007|06:18pm] |
I'm not quite sure how to react to my life right now.
Things are changing so fast, it's pretty scary.
I have a childlike impulse to run away, but knowing me it would never be enough.
I had a wonderful birthday. Anyone who wished me a happy birthday made my day.
I might just die when school starts...we'll see. <3
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| It`s a family affair |
[08 Jul 2007|02:25pm] |
I am in Geneva waiting for the Tennis Finals at Wimbledon to begin. GO FEDERER YOU CAN DO IT!!!
Preeeetty nerdy.
Life is good, spending 2 months here is excessive but I really cannot complain. Sam gets here Tuesday and I am beyond excited.He is such good company no matter where in the world we happen to be :D
A World Lit Only By Fire was sooo fantastic, and reading it while I was here was another experience alltogether. I am having some level of difficulty getting into Cry, The Beloved Country, even though it is an interesting subject. My Spanish book on the other hand, is KILLING me. AP Spanish Lit will, in fact, kill me next year.
Anyway, back to what is important at the moment:
Valerie is 5 months pregnant and adorable as ever. We had a jungle party here last night and I danced till the morning. I took care of little Clara (she`s 2) before the party started (her parents are Frank`s friends. The best part was when someone asked me if she was my daughter. AHHH...We look alike and all, but c`mon!!
I will post pictures on facebook when I get home, I have some fantastic ones.
I hope every one is having a relaxing, if not exciting summer. I am looking forward to being a senior, but it is nice to have some more time to recover from being a junior.
Bious bisous
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| one of my favorite poems |
[28 May 2007|08:40pm] |
The Archipelago of Kisses
We live in a modern society. Husbands and wives don't
grow on trees, like in the old days. So where
does one find love? When you're sixteen it's easy,
like being unleashed with a credit card
in a department store of kisses. There's the first kiss.
The sloppy kiss. The peck.
The sympathy kiss. The backseat smooch. The we
shouldn't be doing this kiss. The but your lips
taste so good kiss. The bury me in an avalanche of tingles kiss.
The I wish you'd quit smoking kiss.
The I accept your apology, but you make me really mad
sometimes kiss. The I know
your tongue like the back of my hand kiss. As you get
older, kisses become scarce. You'll be driving
home and see a damaged kiss on the side of the road,
with its purple thumb out. If you
were younger, you'd pull over, slide open the mouth's
red door just to see how it fits. Oh where
does one find love? If you rub two glances, you get a smile.
Rub two smiles, you get a warm feeling.
Rub two warm feelings and presto-you have a kiss.
Now what? Don't invite the kiss over
and answer the door in your underwear. It'll get suspicious
and stare at your toes. Don't water the kiss with whisky. It'll turn bright pink and explode into a thousand luscious splinters,
but in the morning it'll be ashamed and sneak out of
your body without saying good-bye,
and you'll remember that kiss forever by all the little cuts it left
on the inside of your mouth. You must
nurture the kiss. Turn out the lights. Notice how it
illuminates the room. Hold it to your chest
and wonder if the sand inside hourglasses comes from a
special beach. Place it on the tongue's pillow,
then look up the first recorded kiss in an encyclopedia: beneath
a Babylonian olive tree in 1200 B.C.
But one kiss levitates above all the others. The
intersection of function and desire. The I do kiss.
The I'll love you through a brick wall kiss.
Even when I'm dead, I'll swim through the Earth,
like a mermaid of the soil, just to be next to your bones.
Jeffrey McDaniel
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| And that's when you'll explode. And it won't be a pretty sight. |
[14 May 2007|04:25pm] |
I am soooo tired. Tired of not sleeping. Tired of being accused of being lazy by my parents. Tired of being told what I can and can't do. Tired of being mad at friends who really need to get their priorities in order. Tired of this year for dragging on.
I'm sorry I didn't go to Ms. Kanu's study session this Saturday. I was exhausted and I think I work hard enough to have at least part of my weekend off. Thanks.
I watched movies with Jennifer Lopez today instead of having lunch with my friends because I had the courtesy to tell my parents I was leaving school. My Mom said to ask my Dad, so I did. He said yes. Then my Mom, who had planned for him to say no so she didn't have to be the bad guy made him take it back. If she doesn't have the balls to say no she should just shut up when it doesn't go her way.
I don't know what's wrong with me, I guess things just build up.
Raviroo this weekend. That's something to smile about.
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| meta-free-phor-all |
[07 May 2007|09:29pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 drained |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Pulling our weight: the radio dept. |
] |
My room is so messy right now it's making me twitch a little. If I wasn't so tired I would go on a crazy organizing spree right now. Oh the thought of it makes me tingly.
I took the Government AP today. It wasn't bad at all. After studying for literally 72 hours straight with Sam I could not have felt more prepared, which was a nice feeling.
This week is crraaazy stressfull. Like so much I had to make a list detailing what neeeded to be accomplished every night so I could eventually get it all done. Wow, this entry is really revealing my neurotic tendencies isn't it? Ah well, as Descartes once said, I organize therefore I'm awesome.
Phew I'm sleeply, don't mind my silliness.
I don't want to think about next year. I'm excited about The Muse (which comes out tomorrow :-D) but other than that I really should be graduating now. A 10 week summer is just what I need. But not too fast because the seniors are leaving and I'm too little to be a senior. See, it's conflicting.
EMILO'S BIRTHDAY IS COMING UP. that's somethen to be excited about, I'll say.
Biiisous,
Zo
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| I'M NEXT |
[22 Feb 2007|04:21pm] |
Medical News Summary: Woman dies during wisdom tooth surgery
17 Year Old Dies After Having 4 Wisdom Teeth Pulled
WISDOM TOOTH OP MAN BLED TO DEATH
There are two main reasons behind the recommendations:
>There's no reliable research to suggest that the removal of disease-free impacted wisdom teeth has any benefit to the patient.
>There are always some risks from surgery (including nerve damage, damage to other teeth, infection, bleeding, and, rarely, death) which cannot be justified if there are no benefits from the operation.
*sigh* I hate anxiety attacks. And a month before! So fucked up...
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[21 Jan 2007|10:55am] |
It kinda sucks that no matter how good I do my parents still bitch.
Thank god for my friends and wonderful friday nights with gorgeous views.
My boyfriend/debate parter can't get any better at life and emil-o couldn't either-even if she tried ;-)
I miss lindsey.
come home soon love.
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| Things I learned this evening... |
[11 Jan 2007|10:34pm] |
1. Some adults are dumbasses
2. When 16 year old girls prove them wrong it shatters their monstrous ego
3. Don't cry when they scream at you for being right. It shows weakness.
Stupid professors. 9-11 was Clinton's fault my ass. Women live longer because they don't work as hard.
Riiiiiight. And I have large breasts and a desire to have Ms. Kanu as my English teacher forever.
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[05 Jan 2007|12:45am] |
Life is wonderful.
Can we delay school starting forever please?
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| crisis avoided? |
[27 Dec 2006|01:35am] |
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oh good lord it is taking every muscle in my body not to write crappy sappy teen angst poetry right now. AHH FIGHT THE URGE
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| I don't know why you say goodbye, I say hello |
[26 Dec 2006|05:37pm] |
Greetings from beautiful North Carolina,
Despite my fear that I would be spending a week of my much-needed break in complete boredom and irritation, things have been going very smoothly. I sleep a lot, eat a lot, and spend half the afternoon smothering a puppy with kisses.
I love getting to spend time with Morgan, my wonderful cousin who makes me laugh no matter what. We're going rock climbing tomorrow, I can't wait.
Thinking about going home makes me happy and sad, so I'm glad I have 4 days to get used to the idea.
I don't want to deal with all the doctors and stuff, but I do want to see Sam and get ready for his excellent birthday!
I'll be spending New Years with some friends this year, which will be very exciting (as opposed to a bunch of old-albeit fun-people).
I'm shopping around for a digital camera to buy with my Christmas money, so if anyone has any ideas for something good under 300 let me know, I'd love to look into it.
These few days have really made me relax, and if I could just know my english grade I'd be at peace. But I should have known with Ms. Kanu that wouldn't be an option.
oh no, I'm not bitter ;-)
It feels good to be isolated in the woods after such an insane semester, but in a day or so I'll be ready to go home and get moving again.
I hope everyone had a very merry christmas and I wish everyone a happy new year-
zoester
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| what will be left when I draw my last breath (besides the folks I've met and the folks who know me)? |
[22 Dec 2006|10:23pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 eeeep |
] |
| [ |
music |
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violin stuffs |
] |
exams are over and I'm not even awake enough to freak out.
I realized a sad thing today. I'm a really passive aggressive person. Especially lately I've had all this obnoxious anger building up, about my spine and my mother and my irrational fears. So I get mad for no real reason, keep it in because I know it's ridiculous, and then say something really nasty that I don't even believe. It's this terrible cycle and it makes me feel like a shitty person.
It's also terribly ironic (hypocritical actually, but I'm trying to be gentle on myself here) how I despise people who are irrationality hostile, yet I let it turn me into a resentful, unhappy meanie.
So premature New Years Resolution: Let. It. Go. It doesn't it matter enough to interfere with my happiness. I'm trying to deal with my anger (which is really just me being terrified about things I can't control) in a healthy way. Maybe more exercise? I have wonderful friends. An incredible boyfriend who doesn't deserve it when I lash out. The times I do it I feel this burning regret in my chest the instant I say something terrible. So it's just not good for anyone! This break will give me time to regroup and maybe fix some of the root-problems.
:-) it's aaall good. as a wise friend once told me, "smile! be happy!"
after all, 'tis the season to be jolly
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[07 Dec 2006|11:02pm] |
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Sometimes everyone has to realize things don't always work out the way we assumed they should. But maybe that's okay.
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